How Do I Know If My Therapist Is the Right Fit for Me?

This is one of the most common — and most important — questions I hear from women.

Not just in sessions, but in real life.

Friends. Family. People I care about.

Women who are already in therapy — or thinking about starting — who quietly ask:

“But… how do I know if it’s actually the right fit? What does that even mean?”

And more often than not, they’re unsure.

Not because they’re doing anything wrong — but because no one ever told them that therapy should feel like something.

It should feel like movement. Like connection. Like something inside is slowly shifting.

Not All Therapy Feels the Same — And That Matters

Just like no two people are the same, no two therapists are the same.

Some offer the kind of presence, direction, and relational depth that fosters real healing.

And that’s not always obvious at first.

Being in therapy doesn’t automatically mean you’re getting the kind of support that fits you. And that realization can feel confusing — especially when you’ve already taken the hard step of reaching out for help.

Think of Therapy Like Trying on Running Shoes

Imagine walking into a store and trying on three pairs of running shoes.

They’re all size 8.
Same purpose. But different brands.

But only one pair actually fits your foot.
The others might feel “okay,” but they pinch, slide, or just don’t support you quite right.
Technically, they “work.” But they’re not the shoes you’ll run far in.

Therapy is the same.
The relationship matters. The fit matters. You matter.

Why So Many Women Say “Therapy Just Isn’t for Me”

I’ve spoken to so many women — clients, friends, and people I care about — who have said:

“I tried therapy once… but it just didn’t work.”

And more often than not, it wasn’t the idea of therapy that failed them —
It was the match.

They didn’t know they were allowed to ask for more.
To trust their discomfort.
To recognize that the process wasn’t wrong — the provider just wasn’t right.

And no one told them they were allowed to try again.

To find a space — and a person — that actually feels right.

How to Tell If Your Therapist is "the right fit"

Therapy that fits often includes: 

✅ You’re seen and understood — not just heard
✅ You feel emotionally safe — not exposed
✅ There’s direction — not just conversation
✅ You can speak up — and it strengthens trust
✅ Something’s shifting — slowly, but meaningfully

You don’t always need words to describe it.
But in your body, in your life, in your inner world — you feel something changing.

And if you’re not feeling that?

It’s okay to wonder. It’s okay to ask. It's okay to explore other therapists.

It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you if you need someone different.

It's an understandable part of a deeply personal relationship.

You Deserve Therapy That Fits

Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all.

And therapy isn’t about “powering through” something that doesn’t feel right.

You deserve support that fits your story, your pace, your voice.
Support that helps you move, not just talk.

Whether you’re in therapy now or exploring online therapy in Ontario, I want you to know:
You’re allowed to find a better fit.
You’re allowed to choose alignment.
You’re allowed to try again — and find a space that feels right for you.

Take Good Care💛

-Sheena McRae (Women's Therapy Centre Lead)