What Is the Inner Critic? + How to Stop Self-Sabotage
If you’ve ever told yourself you’re not good enough, too much, not ready, or never going to get it right—you’ve met your inner critic.
And you’re not alone.
We all have one. In fact, we all have several. Psychologists Jay Earley and Bonnie Weiss identified seven common types of inner critics, each with their own personality and mission. From the Perfectionist to the Guilt Tripper, they all have one thing in common: they think they’re protecting us.
They whisper (or yell), “Do better,” “Try harder,” “Don’t mess up”—all in the name of keeping us safe from rejection, shame, or failure. They’re like overprotective parents in our minds, convinced that judgment from others is the ultimate danger.
But here’s the twist: the more we obey those inner critics, the more we disconnect from the present moment. Instead of moving through life with confidence, we get stuck overthinking, people-pleasing, procrastinating, or beating ourselves up.
Your inner critic doesn’t realize you’ve grown. That you now have the tools, boundaries, and support to handle what life throws your way. So it clings to old scripts—scripts that no longer serve your most authentic self.
The result? A constant state of anxiety and self-doubt, where we’re responding to imagined danger instead of living fully in the moment.
Meet the 7 critic types
Each inner critic has a different voice, but all share the same goal: to protect you—from judgment, shame, failure, or even just disappointment. But in doing so, they often rob you of joy, confidence, and presence.
1. The Perfectionist
Wants you to avoid judgment by getting everything exactly right.
🗣 “You can’t post that. It’s not perfect. Fix the caption. Recheck your spelling. Or maybe just don’t post it at all.”
🎭 Vibe: Editing an email 14 times and still not sending it.
2. The Task Master
Believes your worth is tied to how much you accomplish.
🗣 “Rest? Now? With emails unanswered and the laundry mountain unscaled?”
💼 Vibe: Burning out but still thinking you’re not doing enough.
3. The Conformist
Fears you’ll be judged for standing out or being “too much.”
🗣 “Don’t wear that. Don’t speak up. Just be nice and go along.”
🫣 Vibe: Shrinking yourself in meetings, dates, group chats.
4. The Controller
Wants to keep your impulses in check to avoid “losing control.”
🗣 “One glass of wine and you’ll say something you regret. Don’t trust yourself.”
🍷 Vibe: Guilting yourself for enjoying food, rest, or pleasure.
5. The Underminer
Keeps you small to avoid embarrassment or failure.
🗣 “You’re not ready. Other people know more. You’ll embarrass yourself.”
📉 Vibe: Talking yourself out of the big, brave thing.
6. The Guilt Tripper
Stuck in the past, making sure you “never forget.”
🗣 “You’re a bad friend/daughter/partner for that one time you messed up.”
🕰 Vibe: Reliving that one awkward brunch from 2018 at 2am.
7. The Destroyer
Attacks your self-worth, convinced you’re inherently flawed.
🗣 “You’re broken. You’re too much. You’re not enough. You always mess things up.”
💣 Vibe: Feeling like you’re faking it and everyone knows.
How to Support Yourself
The goal isn’t to shut these voices down entirely. The goal is to learn how to listen with curiosity rather than fear.
- Name the Critic – Start by noticing which one is speaking. Naming it ("Oh hey, Task Master Tanya again") makes it feel more manageable.
- Thank It… and Set Boundaries – Acknowledge that it’s trying to help, but you’ve got it from here.
- Choose Presence Over Perfection – Ask yourself: “What would I do if I trusted myself right now?”
- Practice Self-Compassion – Replace the critic’s voice with your own kinder one. You’re doing your best—and that’s enough.
You’re allowed to take up space, make mistakes, and be real. Your inner critic may always be part of the background—but she doesn’t have to drive the car.
