Are You Living Outside Your Window of Tolerance?

You’re doing it all.

The meetings. The meal plans. The inbox. The late-night overthinking. On the outside, it looks like you’ve got it together. But inside? Maybe not so much.

If you often feel tired but wired, numb but overwhelmed, or like you’re floating through life on autopilot — you might be existing outside your Window of Tolerance.

What Is the Window of Tolerance?

The Window of Tolerance is a concept developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. It describes the state in which your nervous system functions best — when you feel grounded, emotionally balanced, and connected to yourself and others. You can read about it more here. 

When you’re within your window, life feels manageable. You can handle stress without spiraling, express emotions without shutting down, and stay present without dissociating.

When you're outside that window, it can look like:

🚨 Hyperarousal (Above the Window)

• Anxiety, panic, irritability
• Racing thoughts, trouble sleeping
• Feeling like you’re constantly “on guard”
• Overfunctioning, perfectionism, emotional reactivity

🧊 Hypoarousal (Below the Window)

• Numbness, brain fog, disconnection
• Feeling unmotivated, flat, or “not really here”
• Zoning out, avoiding emotions, chronic fatigue

Why So Many Women Are Living Outside the Window

Let’s be honest: we’ve been conditioned to push through.
To be everything, hold it all together, and do it with a smile.

But that chronic pressure — from work, relationships, trauma, motherhood, or just the daily grind — taxes the nervous system in ways we don’t always see... until we burn out.

And sometimes, our survival patterns start to feel like our personality.

Sound familiar?

• You can’t relax unless everything is perfect
• You numb out on your phone just to get a break
• Rest feels unsafe or unearned
• You don’t even know what calm feels like anymore

This isn’t failure. This is your nervous system trying to protect you — on autopilot.

The Hidden Costs of Chronic Dysregulation

Living outside your Window of Tolerance doesn’t just steal your peace. It affects:

• Your sleep
• Your digestion
• Your relationships
• Your ability to set boundaries
• Your ability to feel joy, grief, or even boredom safely

Most of all, it disconnects you from you.

Reclaiming Your Window

Now imagine…

• Feeling safe to rest
• Saying no without guilt
• Being in your body without bracing for the next crash
• Responding instead of reacting
• Feeling your feelings without drowning in them

This is what living within your Window of Tolerance can look like — and therapy can help get you there.

Support That Gets It — Because We’ve Been There Too

At Women’s Therapy Centre, we offer online therapy for women across Canada who want to reconnect with themselves — safely, gently, and without judgment.

Our therapists are trauma-informed, nervous-system-aware, and deeply committed to helping you feel like you again (or maybe for the first time).

You don’t have to keep living outside your window. Let’s find your way back in — together.